I’m dreaming about the sound of the sea
It reminds me of the wind
In the crowns of trees
Or heavy spring rain
It’s the same sound in three different ways
Each belonging to a different place
I’m forgetting little by little
It’s getting harder to come back
I’m reminding myself of tastes and words and gestures
I’m touching familiar objects
I’m looking outside of my childhood room
And I’m slowly forgetting
At first, I was leaving
Then, I was coming back
Then, I was somewhere else again
Always somewhere else
Nowadays, it is hard to say what movement actually is I cannot describe my movement so easily
I’m expanding, unfolding
I’m losing myself
I’m neither here nor there
I’m in-between
When I was a child, I saw everything, but didn’t remember anything
Now I’m looking back
And I see fragments
Images that are out of focus
Small details
That are filling everything
Every time I walk
My mind is in those places
Where time doesn’t exist
And in front of my eyes, images appear
Textures, lines and colors
I don’t give them names
They are stratifying in me
Slowly
Silently
Discreetly
Is the only way to feel whole -
To split myself completely
And put myself back,
in another way again?
When I squint at the sun
I see their silhouettes
I notice snippets
I feel how they grow into me
They merge into my tissue
Intertwine with veins and muscles
Sometimes I feel how they pound beneath the surface
I breathe
I feel
Every moment, memory, pain, desire, doubt
Sediments of days, weeks and years
Maybe I forgot
But my body didn’t
Close your eyes
Take a breath
Whatever comes, let it flow
Now
Later
Always